Day 9 & 10

I’m late.... but better than never

I opted not to choose one of topic but to write about my recent experiences with Baby J and starting preschool.

I should preamble this with a little background. Baby J or Jarrett as he is starting to go by outside the home has been my sidekick since he entered this world. So different from my girls yet capturing my heart with the same intensity as his big sisters. He is our rainbow baby and the significance of his birth may be lost on some but is never lost on me.

My girls seemed to come out the womb holding full conversation. Not really but you get what I’m saying. Baby J seemed less concerned with conversation and more engulfed in playful interactions and creative play with trains and LEGO’s.

As a parent you notice every little aspect of your children’s developing personalities and monitor their development like a nurse reading vitals. I found myself allowing other people’s assessments, side looks or comments influence me and cloud the lens in which I viewed my son. Not in a negative way because to me he is perfect, but filtering in comparison and societal norms. The standards of what is “normal” in our now so “diverse” society sadly in my opinion have narrowed as it pertains to children and development.

I remember taking Baby J to his 2 year check up (about 3 or 4 months after his second birthday). He wasn’t able to get his shots on time after we’d been plagued with strep and bug after bug. When I finally made it to an appointment fever and symptom free I asked his pediatrician if I should be concerned about his lack of speech development. Now he was speaking but not nearly as much as my girls were at two and he seemed in no rush as long as he could communicate what his needs were (which he did). His pediatrician whom I adore smiled and laughed he and Baby J seemingly in their own world and said “he’s fine mommy”. “Can he tell you or let you know what he wants and needs?” I nodded and said yes. He goes on to explain that children develop at different rates and levels and boys at times can sometimes hit milestones later than their female counterparts.

Baby J left with a sticker, a couple of bandaids covering his battle wounds and a couple tears from the betrayal.


Fast forward a year and he has skipped forward in my opinion by leaps and bounds yet still trailing by the “standards” and “norms”.

So I figured he’s getting older I’ll put him in preschool part time and let him get acclimated to interacting with other kids his age. Five years separate him and his closest sibling.

Day 1 went great! Day two pretty good. Week two Day 3...... he is not a child to cling and scream but more of a pitiful whimper and attempt to hide behind mommy’s leg.  Reluctantly he went without a scene. Day 4 scene but no clinging (daddy did drop off).

The program offered drop-in preschool or care for his age. This essentially means you pay as you go but with a two day minimum. I originally wanted half days but they weren’t offered so I decided I’d give two whole days a try. Now, again he’s never really been away from home except to his grandparents and/or aunts. He’s been in the childcare center at the YMCA but no longer than an hour. Although he and I had started incorporating lessons and more structure in our days I think full days out the gate were too much. Maybe too much for me more than him. Nevertheless, we’re  restructuring our approach. No more full days. At least not yet.

I know what some of you are probably thinking  1,2..4. Yes it was two weeks 4 days. Could he have gotten use to it? I’m sure he could have.  My struggle was in the, why? He’s not 5 I’m not facing a visit from truancy. He didn’t need to be pushed out of his comfort zone so quickly. We have time. I’m blessed to be in a position where my husband works extremely hard to afford us this opportunity as parents. So, why?

Should we push our children out of their comfort zone? Yes, but at what age and how far?

Did I push my baby because I felt pressured to? The question of “how old is he?”. After he strings together a sentence they can’t understand. Or the comparison to other kids his age or his siblings.

Well we’re done with that. For all the parents and worse the non-parents with all their observations, comparisons and stories of the things he does their kids past present and future didn’t, don’t, or won’t do we say, we’re good!

He went from speaking in what my husband calls Minion (his favorite movie as a baby) to knowing all his colors. Being able to count to 20 and singing the alphabet song although it can get really sketchy at L and recognizing some letters. He knows his body parts even “The body” part that for whatever reason he equips his stick figure with. He’s thriving and flourishing.

We did find a program 2 days a week for 3 1/2 hours each day. It’s like a playdate without the parents. No naptimes or forced lunches just creative play, storytime and arts and crafts.

I wish I could share him with you through more than the occasional post and picture on my Instagram. He’s such a lover but he can be demanding as all toddlers can be. He’s a cuddler and his favorite spot is snuggled between me and Jarrett (Sr.) as he let him know “she’s my mommy”.

To my mommas out there I’m praying for you and your little ones. Please pray for me and mine. Be encouraged and don’t be afraid to shut out the noise. Bet on your baby their little minds are remarkable. Don’t worry about "Brenda" whose kid is reading Hemmingway and playing Mozart at 4. Even if she makes sure to tell you everyday. Praise the young prodigy and then show her the portrait of you where one eye is the size of Texas and the other Rhode Island that your little Rembrandt painted. #proudmom

Best,
Baby J’s biggest fan a.k.a Mommy